The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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