He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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