First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
