I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
