Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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