the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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