Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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