I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize