dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
