What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
