on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
