Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
