She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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