so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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