you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
