Will you blow on my dice?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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