There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
