You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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