I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
