Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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