I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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