I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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