dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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