OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
