I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
