it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
