White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
