on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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