yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I want to be your penis for a week.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
