I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
