I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
she told me i tasted like america
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
