Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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