Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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