Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
