Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize