i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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