My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
