My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
