I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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