He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Randomize
