you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
