did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
