just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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