took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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