dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
