Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
