I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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