I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Randomize