He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
