Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
