My brain says no but my pants say off.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
