butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
