Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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