I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
