That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
