Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
