My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
