no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
