After last night, I could never be a politician.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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