whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
