He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
