I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
