dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
