I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just googled if crying burns calories
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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