You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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